BACK AT IT AGAIN (FOR HOW LONG? IDK)
April 19, 2025
I suddenly have the urge to open my blogger account and write about what's going on with my life lately. It's been a long time since I posted here and I even thought that I would never go back but here I am. Life has been fine- busy but fine. I long for the days when I worry about nothing. I miss my old carefree and laid-back life. Though there are still remnants of my past self, I can't help but mourn for the life I used to have, now that I scarcely have the time to do the things I like.
If you're reading this now, I bet you would've said that I could've managed my time better, but it's not that easy for me. This may sound like an excuse, but I'm never really good at managing my time even before- I always struggle. Mind you, this is not a cry for help but just me being honest with what I feel. Actually, I don't know what I'm saying (lol) because I intended this to be a review of some sort about the books, movies, and anime series that I watched ever since my vacation kicked off. I don't really know what I'm doing but I can't help it, words just flowed through me as I'm typing my heart out.
It must have been because I actually miss writing—writing about myself, that is. This blog used to be my creative outlet from anime to fashion until it became a chore. The last time I wrote a proper a blog post about fashion was 5 years ago and the rest of the succeeding years up until the year 2022 were all about adverts- then I totally left my blog.
While I'm away, I was busy- really busy, but it's the kind of busy where I can still slack off and procrastinate, so I'm totally fine with it. But because I'm so busy and the worst when it comes to managing my time effectively, things were sacrificed. Watching anime became a chore and I no longer have the appetite to read anymore. The little time I had, I spent it doom-scrolling, be it on TikTok or Facebook. Though I watch anime from time to time, I can barely even finish a single episode without getting bored. So what did I do during those times? Well, I let myself rot, only functioning when I have to go about my day like a zombie.
Even though I don't read as much anymore, I never stopped buying books; I still take a quick peek at my bookstagram from time to time. Feeling dull and uninspired, little by little, I started reading again but it was not easy. Words just slip through my mind and I have to grapple and piece them together- it's like learning to walk after being whellchaired for years. To tell you honestly, the book that got me out of the reading slump was a children's book which I got at an online store on a whim. Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl was an incredible pick-me-upper, then I proceeded to read another 14 books until I'm out of commission again.
Just this year though, I managed to finish Circe and I'm so proud of myself. It took me almost a month to finish Circe but I'm glad I pushed through. Currently, I'm reading The Quake by Haruki Murakami and it's so good. It's actually the reason why HM is one of my favorite writers alive. Aside from that, I finished watching quite a lot of anime eversince my sister sold me her ipad, it's now very easy and accesible. Whenever I have a lull time at work, I just whip it and watch. I will go deep dive on my next post about it.
You know, I could've totally abandoned this blog since it's no longer a thing anymore. I could've just written this on my Instagram but it's too long of a caption; I could've make an essay video and post it on Tiktok, but I'm not comfortable doing it; or I could've just post this on Medium but I offer no answer- save it to the people who actually has something to say. So here I am, in my old dusty blog- rediscovering the things that give me purpose of this little life of mine.
It feels good to do these things again without feeling taxed. How I wish I could do this every day without that sinking dread in the back of my mind. It must be great. I guess this is what reading can do to you- and hey, that's a 700+ words! Way to go!
Bye for now.
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2 comments
i feel the same way about my blog. i've just recently returned to writing product reviews the way i used to hahaha (2017 -2019 was peak blogging) what you said about could've let my blog go but couldn't, that hit home. my blog is still my safe haven, no matter what. and it serves as a time capsule. i read my old blogs and i'm like.. i wrote this, i wrote this, did i really???
ReplyDeleteso, know that you are not alone in how you feel. if you have books review in the future, i'm here for it. i still love the written reviews, more than what's on tiktok or other soc med.
...and if it's not too much, please drop by my blog too..
https://mommiecassiesblog.blogspot.com/
So glad to see a post from you! I completely understand what you mean when you talk about not having as much time to do the things that you like. Getting older seems to make it harder to find time for all of the wonderful hobbies and interests that used to occupy our days! Doom scrolling can be really difficult to stop - and I am certainly guilty of that myself. I love that you have started to read again. It is hard to make the time when there are always so many things pulling our attention, but it is meaningful.
ReplyDeletethe creation of beauty is art.
Thank you for your time! Your thoughts about this post are highly appreciated. I read each of them and respond as much as I can. And don't forget to click 'NOTIFY ME' so you can read my reply. ♥