I am a Wallflower, That's what i am

September 18, 2013

Ever since i was a kid, i already know that im just this shy little girl in school who will always whisper the answer than to raise her hands. I kept a low profile just to avoid any humiliation, and im also afraid to be the center of the attention like being called by the teacher to answer her questions in front of the class. That's why i graduated in elementary and high school never knowing if there was any teacher who knows me or my name.

Then after i graduated in high school, i proceeded in college and that time i knew that there was really something wrong with me. Because i always find myself in my room just lying there--- you know, i can go on a day just in my room just thinking. And i don't have a lot of friends i can bring in to our house, like mum would ask me to. I was really confused at that time, that's why i decided to go and search in the net about myself --- of what i am. And then i discovered that i am a Wallflower.

Knowing that i am in fact a wallflower doesn't changed a thing, because i wanted to socialize and have lot's of friends like the girls in my school. But just the thought of having many friends throws me in the trash can, because i don't have the guts to. But i must tell you that i have a friends, small circle of friends but sometimes i get left out of them. That's i why i wanted to have more friends, because even by then--- none of them will forget me that im with them.

It took me a long while to accept myself as what  i am. It took me a long while to find true friends who will accept me as what i am, who will not ignore me. And it took me a long while to understand in my heart that its okay to be a wallflower, it's not that bad after all--- it's not even that bad. But what had kept me locked in a jar for so long was this thought "What if no one will understand me as person?

The things that tightened the jars lid is that--- even i myself can't accept me, the real me. I am the one who tighten that jar with the negative thoughts i have in mind. But what had set me free from that jar is the love and support of my family and my true friends beside me. Because their love is stronger than my disability to love and accept myself. And today, i can proudly say that 'I am a Wallflower. That's what i am.'

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  1. Lovely this! What a love,
    shall we follow by facebook and bloglovin?

  2. thats very cute dear :) xx


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